Glenda's Guide to Better Sleep
If you struggle with getting enough sleep each night or with getting a truly restful night’s sleep consistently you are not alone. Many of us are trying to cram so much into our lives, and since sleep comes at the end of the day, we cut out the very necessary hours of rest that our bodies and minds need to recover and prepare for the next day.
Studies continue to show that adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night. During this time your body is repairing cells, organs and muscles. Your immune system is being strengthened. Your mind is cleaning out old files of information that it no longer needs to store along with impacting your brain’s ability function normally. Depression symptoms, migraines and blood pressure issues can increase without enough sleep.
How much uninterrupted sleep are you getting?
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) confirms that lack of quality sleep can cause a plethora of health issues such as weight gain, depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes, impaired memory function and increased inflammation. Inflammation leads to host of other health challenges such as heart disease, stroke and autoimmune disorders lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.
I’ve developed a simple plan to prepare my body and mind and home for a restful night’s sleep. I cannot tell you how many restless nights I’ve struggled through trying to calm my mind enough to get to sleep. I developed a tactic at some point in my youth of trying to count backwards from 200. 100 was never enough. I started doing this while trying to sleep with a mind that was going 1,000 miles per hour and thinking about the old counting sheep method. Counting up was never going to work for me, it always felt like a mission to count as high as I could, so I counted down instead. I pictured the number, almost like it was on Sesame Street, which of course led me to think of The Count, so sometimes my countdown was 200, followed by the laugh of The Count, then 199, followed by the laugh of The Count. Yep, you pictured it, and I’m sure you’re laughing right now too.
My countdown system helped, but sometimes my mind was still going 1,000 miles an hour. By picturing the numbers, I was trying to keep my focus on the number and hoping to quiet the thoughts spinning in my head. I’ve learned to silence the inner dialog by reminding myself that now is not the time for thinking through what’s on my mind, I can do that tomorrow. I have to remind myself that the conversations with another person playing out in my melon are not indeed happening now, nor are they likely to happen in the way that I’m spinning, so stop the thoughts and have the actual conversation tomorrow.
Most nights I read to settle myself down, a practice that started when I was very young. Some nights I’d read a page, others I’d read chapter after chapter. I discovered that there was more to setting the stage for a restful night’s sleep than just reading and counting down.
SETTING THE STAGE
The number of people who have televisions in their bedrooms is astounding. More disturbing are the number of people who fall asleep with their television on. The changing light from the TV alone is enough to disturb your sleep, but when the sound is on you are not able to get deep in to full, restful sleep. Consider removing the television from your room. Use a white noise machine or a fan instead if it helps you sleep well.
Your bedroom should be prepared to allow you a peaceful, quiet, dark place to rest. Keep your bedroom free from work and clutter. If you are a messy sort, throw it all in the closet and shut the door. If you have your office in your bedroom and that’s your only option, be strict about creating no-work hours before bed.
Buy a low wattage bulb for your bedside lamp that will emit enough light for you read by, but not so much light that it stimulates you. The body is naturally built to prepare for sleep based on natural circadian rhythms. Often times we are disturbing those natural cycles by having bright lights and televisions on in our homes and in our bedrooms.
I’m going to nerd out on you for a moment but stay with me. In our ancestor’s time people rose with sun and went to sleep when the sun went down. Our brains are still wired the exact same way now. As much as our society and technology has evolved, our human brains still think it’s 200 BC. Light is picked up by your eyes and travels through a nerve pathway to your hypothalamus where there is a suprachiasmatic nucleus or SCN for short, that helps signal the brain to produce various hormones and controls body temperature. Your pineal gland creates serotonin when the sun comes up and melatonin naturally when the sun goes down. As melatonin levels in the blood rise, you’ll feel less alert, calmer and more relaxed and ready for sleep. I know of many people who take melatonin supplements but wonder how many have tried to allow their own melatonin to work naturally by setting the stage in their homes for a restful night’s sleep. I’m guessing you’ve never heard of SCN before, and therefore have never fully given your body a chance to fully work in the way it was designed.
Maintaining proper temperature for bedtime is also important to a restful night’s sleep. I love blankets and do not sleep well without a heavy blanket that covers my shoulders. Living in Florida and loving heavy blankets requires a lower sleepy time temperature in my home. Using a ceiling fan in my bedroom helps too. It’s all about setting the stage for what works for you to ensure you are getting your best night’s sleep. Every night.
GET READY FOR BED ALARM
Does the thought of setting an alarm to get ready for bed each night make you laugh out loud? Don’t knock it, my friend. Use this trick until you have developed the habit to fully prepare yourself for bed before it is time to crawl between the sheets and sleep. I’m guessing you have your “bedtime” but is that when you are actually ready to lay down? What tasks do you need to do or finish before you’re ready to drift off to a peaceful sleep? Try not to lie to yourself about where your time is spent before bed. Have a clear understanding of what your routine looks like and how much time you need to get ready for bed.
When your Get Ready for Bed alarm goes off, turn off the television. If you’re in the middle of a show, so what, you’re probably watching on Hulu or Netflix and can pick back up where you left off another day. You’re probably watching way too much television anyway, what are you learning from time staring at the screen? If you’re watching with advertisements you’re likely getting jolts of cortisol from the marketers attempts to entice you to buy their products. I’ve gone ad-free on the entertainment platforms that I use such as Spotify, Hulu and YouTube. It’s much more peaceful than to be jarred during a meditation to buy a car.
Same goes for your phone, when your Get Ready for Bed alarm goes off, put your phone in to airplane mode, or at least on silent. Stay off of social media after this time. Speaking of your phone, turn off all alerts that you really do not need. If you need certain alerts, turn the chime off. Start spreading the word when you reply to friends and family the next day that you are setting up positive habits for a better night’s sleep and that includes being phone free after 8pm, for example.
If you’re as much of a music lover as I am, change your tunes to soft, instrumental music. Try soft piano or meditation playlists, advertisement free. Your nighttime music should be gentle, relaxing and not stimulating. Search for music that has low frequencies between 4 and 8 Hz. Don’t be afraid of silence. There is such peace in the quiet of no television, no radio and no talking, especially as you’re easing your mind and body into a calm state ready for sleep.
Take this time to set out your workout clothes for the morning and maybe your outfit for the next day if you’re so inclined. If there is anything that you need to take to work in the morning get all of that ready and set with your laptop. If you use a pre-workout drink, make that up and have it ready in the fridge.
Grab a notebook and pen for the next part. Start by giving gratitude to at least three things that went well today or that you are grateful for. Stay with the positive right now. If you have more than three things that come to mind, that’s great! Jot them down. Having a gratitude journal is helpful to flip back through when you’re having a bad day. It’s a quick reminder that there are lots of good days too.
Next, write down three tasks that you want to tackle the next day. This will help to clear your brain for the sleep you need tonight. If you already wrote down what your focus should be on the next day, your brain won’t be spinning through those thoughts as you try to drift off to sleep.
Should anything else be rolling around inside that melon of yours, now is the time to write it down. This could be simple bullet points of topics that you can reflect back on tomorrow, maybe finding time to journal about the topics if they’ll take some time to work through. The point is to get out of your head and on to paper the types of things that end up keeping you awake at night. This is not a procrastination tactic; this is a strategy to ensure you get the restful sleep you deserve. There are better times of your day to spend in contemplation and it ain’t before bed.
With all of that activity done and out of the way, head in to wash your face, brush your teeth, use the toilet and handle any other before bed rituals.
Taking a few minutes to meditate at this time of the night will help bring your breathing and mind down into a relaxed and calm state, perfect for crawling into bed for an amazing night’s sleep. Insight Timer is a great app for beginning meditators. You can choose guided meditations, music or silence all set for the timed duration you’re looking for. Simpler yet, you can use the timer on your phone. Start small, even 5 minutes of sitting in silence is helpful. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be uncomfortable on the floor with your legs in a pretzel to meditate. You can sit in a chair with your back straight and meditate with the best of them. I like to meditate sitting up in a chair with a pillow behind my back to keep me from slouching. Meditation is not about turning off your thoughts, that would be like telling your lungs not to breathe. Meditation is about bringing awareness to your thoughts and feelings and being able to observe without judgement. It’s called meditation practice, meaning you are not perfect at it, no one is, but you’re practicing getting better at it.
At this point you should be feeling calm, at ease, and maybe a little sleepy. Use the bathroom once more and crawl into your cozy, snuggly bed. If you’re a reader, pick up your book and read a few pages. If any thoughts start coming to your mind, thank them for visiting and let them go, they can be dealt with tomorrow. You’ll likely be ready for sleep even before the Lights Out alarm alerts you. If that’s the case, be sure to turn off the Lights Out alarm. There’s nothing wrong with cashing in before the Lights Out alarm goes off. Listen to your body, it’s been begging you for more rest and recovery time.
What about sexy play time you ask? There are 24 hours in the day to play, find time before your Lights Out alarm. Don’t let this area of your well-balance life slip. Intimacy and connection are super important to living your best life.
LIGHTS OUT ALARM
When it’s lights out time, put down your book, turn off the light, close your eyes (use an eye mask if it’s helpful for you) and let your body sink deep into the mattress. Take a few long, slow, deep inhales and hold for a few seconds before releasing long, slow exhales. After a few breaths return to normal breathing and remind yourself how much your body and mind need these hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep to recover from your workouts and from the stress of life.
Mentally take your body through shutdown mode starting at your head and working all the way down to your toes, if you actually stay awake that long. Begin with the muscles around your eyes, relax those muscles completely. Move down to your mouth, give yourself a huge grin, then relax the muscles around your mouth and allow your tongue to drop down and back away from your teeth. Continue down to your shoulders, arms, hands and fingers and then down your back and to your hips. I tend to spend several minutes on relaxing my hips, it’s where I hold all of my stress and tension. Move down to relax your gluts, quads, hamstrings, calves and feet.
Picture your body sinking deeper into the mattress, give in to the deeper, slower breath of sleep. Should any thoughts come to mind, remind them they will be dealt with in the morning, then come back to your breath.
Next thing you’ll know your Get Moving Lady alarm will go off and you’ll roll out of bed well rested and eager to tackle this day by getting your workout in and the dog walked well before sunrise.
THE BASICS
A couple of basics to help ensure you’ll sleep better than ever are to avoid sugar, alcohol and caffeine several hours before bed. How many hours is usually up to the individual. For me, I avoid caffeine after noon and limit my intake even then. While I’ve not been able to cut caffeine completely yet, I’m down to two black tea bags each morning most days.
Try to keep your same bedtime and wakeup time every day. I know you want to be out having fun on the weekends but try to get to bed at your normal time on Sunday night to ensure you start your Monday off the best way possible. I usually give myself an extra 30 minutes to read on Sunday’s to ensure I have enough wind down time before sleepy time.
Keep track in your journal what you did for your bedtime routine the night before, how you slept, and how you felt the next day. Stick with it for a couple of weeks and tweak the parts that don’t work for you.
Another consideration if you’re still having problems sleeping is to review the medication you take and the times of day you take it. Review with your physician if you have any concerns about what you have been prescribed. Many antidepressants, decongestants, appetite suppressants, steroids or blood pressure medications can cause sleeplessness.
Food is another area to look in to if you’re still not sleeping well. Start with keeping a food journal of what you’re consuming, the time of day, and how you feel. This is how I learned that red meat and fried foods impacted my sleep patterns.
PROTECT WHAT IS SACRED
I feel the number one reason that I sleep as well as I do is because I protect my sleep. I start my process by 8pm and ensure the lights are off by 9pm. When my alarm goes off at 4:45am I am truly ready to roll. I have learned that I am a slow waker-upper so I allow time to hit snooze once, not to go back to sleep, but for me to ease in to my day slowly. Once I hit snooze, I start mentally preparing for awakeness and begin slowly moving around my feet, legs, arms and hands. My dog Kaya knows it’s snuggle time and comes in for the kill. She gets a few snugs until the alarm goes off again and we’re up and rocking this awesome day.
Protecting my sleep has led me to skip out on some social gatherings during the week, but I would much rather feel good tomorrow than be out past my bedtime. It’s all about priorities and what makes you live your best life. The choice is yours.
QUICK ACTIONS
Set three alarms on your phone
1. Morning alarm
2. Get ready for bed alarm
Turn off TV, music and phone (soft, instrumental, meditation music is ok)
Turn down the lights in your home
Get out your workout clothes for the morning
Write in gratitude journal three positives from the day
Write three things to tackle tomorrow
If anything is on your mind, write that down, work on it in the morning
Prepare for bed (wash face, brush teeth, pee)
Meditate, even if only for 5 minutes
Read a book, not the news, not Facebook, but a book that you can read in a relaxed state
Have a soft wattage bulb in bedside lamp, enough to read with, but not too bright
3. Go to sleep, lights out alarm
When the lights out alarm signals, finish the page you’re reading, close the book and your eyes and allow your body to sink down in the mattress (I drink a ton of water and always go pee again after reading)
Breathe long, slow inhales and exhales
Remind yourself that your body and your mind need solid, restful, restorative sleep
Mentally turn off every muscle in your body, paying close attention to the muscles in your face, around your eyes and your mouth
Relax your tongue
Travel head to toe through your body to relax and turn off every muscle
Insight Timer has great sleep meditations as does YouTube, totally worth the money to be advertisement free with the paid version
Avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugar several hours before bed
Sleep 7-8 hours every night
Keep same bedtime schedule and wakeup schedule
White noise machine can be helpful
Use a sleep mask